in the face of adversity
by PartyFavours
Summary: Roz faces the greatest challenge of her life


IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY  
  
Hi, this is my first fan fic and I am quite nervous about showing it. It is on Eunice's site but I wanted some reviews! Obviously none of the characters are mine they belong to Grub Street.  
  
It was raining again, but she was used to that – after all she'd lived in Seattle for over ten years now. She looked over at her one true love sleeping in her bed and thought about their wonderful four years together. And now it will have to change, it might even end. She sobbed into the coffee she was drinking as she contemplated her future, before falling asleep in the warmth of the pinstriped armchair.  
  
  
  
As Frasier wrapped up his lecture to his last caller, Mike, about the differences between narcolepsy and necrophillia and the reasons one shouldn't confuse the two in group counselling sessions he looked over into the producer's box. He knew that there was something wrong with Roz but had no idea what it could be. She was doing everything as normal, but without any kind of emotion – she didn't even bat an eyelid when Frasier, as a way of testing her, decided to tell Doris the struggling ex-alcoholic to relax and have a drink to help her face her day.  
  
Once she had mumbled that they were done, he took off his headphones and watched her as she went through her daily routine of replacing all the tapes in the right places and tidying up her booth but this time like a zombie. He tried to work out what could be the matter. 'Had she split up with a boyfriend? She hadn't been seeing anyone for at least a month, so this ruled out the next obvious concern of pregnancy. Maybe she was lonely then?' Frasier decided this must be it, 'after all she does spend most of her time with Alice, and with Daphne constantly with Niles she doesn't have much adult company anymore.'  
  
His pondering was cut short when she came in to take out the promo tapes from his side.  
  
"Good show"  
  
His words didn't seem to get through to her  
  
"Roz?"  
  
"Hmm? I'm sorry Frasier did you say something?"  
  
"I was wondering whether you had lost the use of your ears actually – did you forget to listen to the show?"  
  
"No I listened intently as always – it was great, you said some really great things" He saw straight through her lies – not a usual occurrence as his ego usually allowed him to believe anything positive said about the show, but her face and tone did not even bother to hide the blatant mistruth.  
  
"Oh really? Name one."  
  
"The third guy – you gave him good advice" again no effort to pretend  
  
"What was wrong with him?"  
  
Roz's face became alive for a second as she searched through her mind trying to remember this, if any caller, "schizophrenia?" she finally came up with, doubtfully.  
  
This angered Frasier; "there was only one man on this show today Roz and we have just finished with him. You haven't been listening at all have you?"  
  
Roz looked down at her feet, feeling like a naughty schoolgirl being told off by her head teacher. "I'm sorry Frasier, my mind's not all here today. I'm a bit tired."  
  
"Is something wrong Roz?" Frasier was now worried for his friend. As he stood and took her hands in his she looked up at him and for the first time he noticed how tired she looked. Her eyes had large black circles around them and she was deathly pale, but despite this he was still in awe of her beauty. Her large brown eyes had lost their usual sparkle but he still felt he could swim in them, and her pale skin accentuated her small porcelain doll features.  
  
Roz looked uncomfortable at his question and shook her head immediately, "no, I'm fine Frasier" she lied, "Alice has kept me up a couple of nights, that's all"  
  
"Well bring her over to ours tonight, Niles and Daphne will baby-sit while I take you out to dinner and then she can stay over while you have a good night's rest at your place". Frasier was pleased with his suggestion, loving the fact he could help out.  
  
Roz, however, immediately felt guilty about using her daughter as an excuse and lying to one of her best friends. But she knew she couldn't refuse the offer – Alice had been playing up recently and she knew she had to rest, and eat – the last proper meal she had was well over a week ago now. She smiled at the kind, thoughtful man in front of her, "Oh thank you Frasier that would be great. I'll come around at about seven".  
  
Frasier left the building feeling satisfied with himself for helping Roz, but also sensing that she had held back with her problems.  
  
  
  
Roz walked into her room where Alice had been taking a nap; she opened the curtains to let the outside light arouse her daughter. When this didn't work she spoke softly in her deep soothing voice "Alice, sweetie, wake up. We have to be at Uncle Frasier's in an hour and you need to get a bath".  
  
She bent down to pick up one of Alice's shoes off the floor when a searing pain shot through her head. She became dizzy and had to sit down in the chair near her bed. As she regained her whereabouts she saw the scans from the previous day's hospital visit on the bedside table. She picked them up along with the coffee she had put down next to them. As she sipped the warm liquid, her eyes wandered over towards the window. It was raining again, but she was used to that – after all she'd lived in Seattle for over ten years now. She looked over at her one true love sleeping in her bed and thought about their wonderful four years together. And now it will have to change, it might even end. She sobbed into the coffee she was drinking as she contemplated her future, before falling asleep in the warmth of the pinstriped armchair.  
  
  
  
Frasier looked at the clock nervously. It was half past seven and dinner reservations had been made for eight. Roz had not been late for about four years now, not since she had become a responsible mother. He was becoming increasingly worried about his best friend.  
  
"Calm down Frase, she's only half an hour late, she might be stuck in traffic with the rain – it is quite bad out there y'know son"  
  
Frasier knew his father was trying to be nice but it just made him worry even more, "what if she and Alice have crashed on their way over here – the roads will be very wet"  
  
It was now Daphne's turn to try to calm him down, "oh don't be such a drama queen! You said yourself Roz wasn't quite with it this morning – maybe she forgot about coming over or something. I'll give her a ring".  
  
"She wouldn't just forget Daphne. I just have a feeling something is wrong."  
  
"Is this like in fifth grade when you sensed that something was wrong with mom only to worry yourself so much that you ended up getting ill?"  
  
"Niles you are not helping" Daphne kindly shut him up as she saw that all he was doing was making Frasier more agitated. She couldn't get a reply from Roz and, although she didn't want to admit it, was also getting a very bad feeling about events. "Well Mr Crane she isn't answering her phone, but if you think it'll be okay I do still have her spare house keys from her last holiday with Alice when I watered her plants for her"  
  
"Ah yes – didn't that result in five dying?"  
  
"Niles, please keep quiet if you have nothing sensible to offer to the conversation" Frasier returned Daphne's earlier kindness by in turn defending her. "If you don't mind Daphne I think I would like to go over there – just to set my mind at ease".  
  
"No problem – just give me two ticks to find them and put my shoes on – I'd like to join you if that's alright? I am starting to get nervous about the whole situation"  
  
"That's fine, but please do hurry up" Frasier called after her as she ran to her room.  
  
  
  
As they entered the apartment Frasier started to feel a bit guilty, "do you think we should be doing this Daphne?" he whispered, "She may just have changed her mind and gone out somewhere with Alice"  
  
Daphne was feeling the same way too, until she saw the state of the place. "Look at all this mess! She can't have cleaned for days!" she hissed back, then pointing to her left, "They can't have gone out anyway – look – Alice's coat and wellington boots. All the lights are still on too."  
  
Frasier saw that she was right and his guilt was replaced by overwhelming fear. "You check Alice's room, I'll check Roz's". Daphne nodded and headed off to her favourite little girl's bedroom, hoping to find her happily playing with some toys.  
  
Frasier pushed open the door as quietly as he could, not knowing what could be behind it. He felt instant relief as he saw Alice sleeping in Roz's bed. He opened it further to reveal Roz in her armchair, also asleep. 'Gosh, you really were tired' he thought with a smile. He saw Alice stir in the bed, and not wanting to wake Roz made a gesture for her to be quiet. Alice obediently waved a silent hello, beaming at her favourite uncle. Frasier smiled and crept quietly over to her, picked her up from the bed and carried her out of the room.  
  
Daphne, frantically worried after not finding Alice in her bedroom, nearly cried with relief at seeing her happily being held by Frasier. She smiled as he transferred the little girl from his arms to hers. He whispered that Roz had fallen asleep and she rolled her eyes then offered to take Alice back with her so Frasier could stay and look after Roz. Both Frasier and Alice looked happy at this suggestion so she took her into her room to pack an overnight bag and then went home with one very happy, very beautiful little girl.  
  
  
  
Frasier decided that he should wake Roz so that she can move into her bed to sleep. He crept back into the room and drew the curtains shut. Turning around he looked over at Roz and saw his vision of sleeping beauty. Her hair fell around her face framing it in all its radiance, she was still pale but the rings around her eyes were starting to disperse and her lips were a beautiful crimson.  
  
However, as he looked at her he noticed that she was covered in sweat – very odd since he himself had noticed the low room temperature – and not breathing very easily. He frowned as his eyes moved down and caught sight of a dark sheet in one of her hands. Stepping closer to her he saw that it was a brain scan readout. He looked at the name on the top of the film – R. Doyle. Finally, hoping that his worst fears were not going to be confirmed he looked more closely at the scan. He was disappointed to learn the awful truth – Roz had a brain tumour!  
  
  
  
He couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't breathe. Shock ran through him like thick syrup, oozing into every part of him, paralysing him. His mind was racing, seventy questions coming all at once – why being the main one. Why had this happened to her? Why hadn't she told him? Why now, when for the first time for ages he had seen Roz happy and settled? Tears began to trickle down his face and his body was shaking uncontrollably. He stared at Roz, his strong-willed and vibrant friend, as she sat pale-faced and struggling to breathe.  
  
Suddenly his doctor instincts kicked in and he realised he needed to help her. He walked to the chair, put his hand on her shoulder and shook it gently. She didn't respond. He tried again, this time shaking a little harder and speaking softly into her ear, "Roz? Roz wake up". Still she didn't arouse from her sleep. Frasier was becoming increasingly worried, 'one more try and then I'm calling the paramedics'. He took both her shoulders and shook them hard, almost shouting, "Roz wake up honey, come on wake up!"  
  
To his relief Roz's eyelids started to flutter and she gave a moan. She opened her eyes slowly and tried to focus on the person in front of her. Realising this person in her apartment was too big to be Alice she became scared and tried to move. All that she could manage however was to release the grip on the scan, which floated out of her hand and underneath the bed. She still couldn't get her eyes to focus and was getting hysterical about the unidentified man in front of her. She managed to shake her head from side to side to show whoever it was that she wanted them away. This resulted in excruciating pain running through her head and the gradually returning vision to return to blackness once again.  
  
Frasier watched Roz panicking and realised that she didn't know who he was. "Roz it's me Frasier. It's okay everything's okay. You fell asleep that's all."  
  
Hearing this calmed her down immediately, she stopped thrashing around and allowed her eyes to rest on one spot. This allowed her vision to fully return and she saw Frasier standing over her. The room was dark but she could still make out his worried expression, which made her smile, 'he's such a good friend'.  
  
Seeing Roz smile allayed some of Frasier's worries. "Hi" he said softly. "Hi to you too" she croaked, her smile getting slightly larger, "what are you doing here?"  
  
Frasier didn't want to tell her he knew - he wanted her to tell him. He was still very worried about her, as she was very hot and still wan in complexion. He decided to stick to bare facts. "I was worried when you didn't come over. Daphne and myself came round to check on you – she's taken Alice home with her. Roz, I couldn't wake you up, you're running a really high temperature and you are pale, I think I should take you to a doctor"  
  
Roz panicked at this, she was still feeling awful but she didn't want to go anywhere. "No Frasier, I'm fine. I'm just really tired, I just need to sleep. Anyway" she added with a tired grin, "I don't need to go to a doctor – I have one right here". Frasier wasn't sure about this, but he knew that he could not argue with Roz, ill or not. "Okay then. I'll ring Daphne and ask her to look after Alice for tonight. I'll stay here and keep an eye on you but if you get any worse I'm taking you to hospital Roz!"  
  
Roz knew that this was the best deal she was going to get, and was relieved that she didn't have to go to see another doctor. She waved her hand in mock submission and winked at Frasier. She was beginning to realise how much of a true friend she had in him.  
  
"Good. I'm glad we have an understanding" he said reaching out his hand towards her, "here, I'll help you into bed".  
  
Roz gave him her hand and raised her eyebrow saucily, "Now now Frasier, enough of the dirty talk!" But as he hauled her from her chair she had another dizzy spell and her motor functions were once again lost. She fell forward and was only just caught by Frasier, who, thinking she had fainted, panicked and carried her over to the bed shouting, "Roz! Roz!"  
  
Once she had got her whereabouts Roz sat up on the bed and replied "I'm fine Frasier, calm down!" She pulled the covers over her and sat up to look at him sighing in relief. This made her laugh hysterically. But soon the laughter turned into uncontrollable sobs as she thought about her weakness and dependence on Frasier to get into bed. She knew that soon she may be relying on other people for a lot more and for the first time since she received the news of her tumour she let her emotions get the better of her.  
  
Frasier immediately sat down next to her on the bed and held her as she cried. He stroked her hair and cooed to her in soothing tones, "it's okay, that's right, let it all out".  
  
  
  
Frasier woke at nine the next morning, amazed at how comfortable a pull out sofa bed could be. He had sat with Roz for two hours the previous night and when he was sure she was okay he left her to sleep. Daphne was worried to hear that Roz was ill but very happy to look after Alice. Frasier knew that both Daphne and Niles wanted children but they had said they were going to wait a while, 'I'll give it a month' Frasier thought as he made his way towards Roz's room.  
  
He froze in shock as he saw Roz coming out of it fully dressed, with her make up on. "Morning Frasier" she said cheerily. "Good morning" he replied, completely perplexed as he watched her enter the kitchen and pour herself some orange juice. He quickly pulled himself together and followed her into the kitchen. "Roz, what are you doing?"  
  
"Getting myself some o.j. – You want some?"  
  
Frasier couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You should be in bed, you're ill! Or do you not remember last night?"  
  
"Yes I do. I'm really sorry for not coming out. And thank you, I really appreciate what you and Daphne did. But I'm feeling a lot better today, like I told you I just needed to sleep. Done that! Now we have work at ten and I need to stop by yours to pick up Alice and take her to day- care. Do you wanna share a car?"  
  
By now Frasier was feeling more than confused, he was so frustrated! Roz was pretending that nothing was wrong again, she was ignoring her problems and dismissing last night completely! He was stunned, and hurt – that she still wouldn't share this huge secret with him. But he didn't have long to wallow, before he knew it Roz had left the apartment and was expecting him to follow.  
  
  
  
The show seemed to last forever – a longer forever than usual for Roz. For some reason Frasier was bringing each caller's problems around to the subject of honesty. This was making her feel even guiltier about lying to him. But how could she tell him? He was her best friend and she knew she could rely on him – he was amazing when she was pregnant with Alice – but she knew this would worry him and she didn't want that. Then again, he was already worried after last night and it was so good to cry with him there holding her. 'Pull yourself together Roz' she thought to herself, 'take the plunge and tell him'. And so she made up her mind – she would tell him at Café Nervosa after the show. With this off her mind she was able to concentrate much better for the rest of the show.  
  
With ten minutes before wrapping up Frasier put on some advertisements and looked over into the next booth to watch Roz happily sorting through some tapes. He couldn't believe she was being so calm! He had given up his subtle hints at telling the truth when he told Wendy from Albuquerque that honesty is the best policy when dealing with the death of pets. He felt hopeless and frustrated as he heard her voice counting the seconds until the ads were over.  
  
"Welcome back. Roz who's our next caller?" he received no answer. "Roz? Who's next?" he glanced through the glass to his left to see Roz staring at something in her hands, horrified. He immediately panicked again, but managed to speak in a calm voice, "well it seems no one wants to talk to us so for the last five minutes I'll treat Seattle to some Chopin I keep for times such as these. This is Doctor Frasier Crane saying goodbye until tomorrow."  
  
He clicked the necessary button and immediately went into the next booth to see what was happening. There he saw Roz staring at a bloodied piece of tissue paper in her hands. He then noticed that there was blood trickling from her nose. His heart sank as once again he was reminded of her terrible situation. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his handkerchief, offering it to Roz who took it and used it to clean her nose. "Thanks Frase" she sniffed with tears in her eyes, "I'll clean it and give it back tomorrow". "Oh don't worry about that" he replied, then looked down at her and with all seriousness asked "are you okay?"  
  
She attempted to laugh, although it did not fool either of them into believing that she was fine "oh it's a little nosebleed! Nothing to rush to ER about! So are you coming to Café Nervosa?"  
  
Frasier nodded his head to say yes, again disappointed at the dismissive behaviour of his friend.  
  
  
  
Once they were seated and had ordered their respective beverages, Roz decided that now was the perfect time to tell Frasier. Nervously, she started to speak,  
  
"Frasier, there's something I've been meaning to tell you, something I've had to lie to you about."  
  
Frasier's interest quickly heightened 'this is it, she's going to tell me! Thank god!' He tried to act innocent in his reply, " Yes Roz, what is it?"  
  
"Em….I … don't know quite how to do this!"  
  
Frasier immediately felt guilty about his excitement when he saw the tears in Roz's eyes and the anguish on her face. He took her hands in his and whispered, "it's alright." This confused Roz, "what?"  
  
"I know about your health. I know that you have an amazingly tough road ahead of you. But I want you to know that you can have people helping you down that road if you only ask them. And I also want you to know that whatever happens I'll be holding your hand and leading you all the way."  
  
The tears came again as Roz listened. She was so relieved that she didn't have to utter those awful words, and that Frasier, as always was being so supportive and kind. But she was also confused. "How do you know?"  
  
"Last night I saw your scan. You'd fallen asleep with it in your hands. I was waiting for you to bring it up. How long have you known?"  
  
"I've known for a couple of weeks, it was only confirmed the other day though. I know what your next question will be Frasier and I'm so sorry. I haven't told anyone – my mother, Daphne, not a soul. I just couldn't…" at this Frasier had heard what he needed to hear and could see that talking about it was hurting Roz. He held out his arms and embraced her in a huge hug and she knew that she didn't have to finish her sentence. For the first time in weeks she didn't feel so lonely, she knew she was not facing this terrifying journey alone. 


End file.
